Forgiveness on the Courts 60


Todays match was totally different than our last one. Yesterday we were in total synch, both of us playing great at the same time for the length of the match.

We played well together for the first set, winning it 6-2 and we rolled in the second set to a 5-2 lead. Up two service breaks it looked like a fast afternoon that wouldn’t take much out of our tiring bodies.

And then, on the verge of victory, we fell out of rhythm. First I missed a couple of routine volleys, then we had a mixup on a ball up the middle and we had dropped serve for the first time in the match.

They won their serve game as, from deuce, Charlie and I couldn’t win two points in a row. Playing the deuce side, he would win his return point and I would then miss. Or he would lose his return point and I would win mine.
They held serve.

Still up 6-2, 5-4 our confidence was dropping. Too many errors. Too many playing “not to lose” shots. My serve games had been routine so we should have been in good shape. Not the case. I hit a double fault to start the game. Then another moment of confusion on a ball up the middle. I lost my serve with another double fault. Long story. We lost a tiebreaker and were dead even in the match.

This is tennis. If you blink once a game is over. If you blink twice you can be in the locker room. And this can happen even more in doubles as the tendency is to blame your partner for their errors and your own errors are blamed on your partner because of being annoyed with your partner.

But Charlie and I have been here before. What helped us get it together was the forgiveness that we felt for each other’s mistakes. It is the game. We know that errors happen not because of lack of effort but because eah of us is unable to be perfect. So I forgave Charlie and he forgave me and we stayed connected. We kept talking to each other, supporting each other, keeping the team together.

No blaming. It is always a team effort.

This was the strength of our relationship.

I was a little deflated after the second set. Charlie took over by bringing his energy up. He led the way. Mine picked up as we broke serve to a 2-0 lead. We cruised through the final set 6-2.

Even when I played an out ball on our first match point, fogiveness. What a powerful team strategy.

We stuck together. We, as always, win and lose together. Today we won.

By the strength of our relationship even more than the strength of our games.

Finals on Friday.


Leave a Reply to Abbi Cancel reply

60 thoughts on “Forgiveness on the Courts

  • Irwin Shorr

    Thank you, as always, Bob, for providing an inroad into your insightful way to live life — both on and off the court. “Blaming” others for a situation translates into not being accountable in any way for an outcome – not a good way to live life both on and off the court. Your choice of words in your blog describing your relationship with Charlie has depth and meaning — ‘not blaming’, ‘forgiveness’… There’s another word that describes many, both on and off the court — “Anger”. You once wrote in a blog, “When my life is good, my tennis is good.” When one’s life is good, there is no room for blame or anger – they just aren’t there — the good takes up so much room that there is no place for words such as ‘blame’ or ‘anger’ that inevitably pave the way for “bad stories”. Someone who is at peace with him/herself, exhibits a sense of inner calm that is palpable — again, both on and off the court. You always tell “Good Stories”,Bob, which we can all learn from and apply to life… yes, that’s right… both on and off the court!

  • Catch-the-Line

    Thanks Bob! Good insight. I have had matches where I was forgiving and matches where I needed forgiveness. No matter the outcome I always enjoy myself and my beer better when I’m forgiving. It’s harder I think to receive forgiveness, but it does remind me of the continued work I need on my game. I hate to let my partner down. Forgiving myself is the hardest.

  • Stacy McHugh

    Oh Bob, thank you for sharing this! It is reassuring and heart warming and gives me a framework to bring to my doubles game. I am adrift right now without a partner, but I have in mind, thanks in part to you, what it can look like. So appreciative of you and your willingness to share yourself.

  • Dennis Tucker

    This reminds me of when I lived and played in Laguna Beach, Ca. There was a guy whom I often played with and against in doubles. He was an emotional guy and if he started making mistakes, he would easily slip into kind of a defeatist state and then as a result, would usually lose.
    I could see that he also felt bad that he was the one responsible for the losses. Just a lot of feelings and thoughts that were of the future and the past. Not in the here and now.

    So I figured out the solution.

    Whenever I played with him, I told him right before the match and if necessary, a reminder during the match,
    “Ron, it doesn’t matter how many mistakes you make, it’s OK. Just let them go.” [or something to that effect]

    The results of me doing that was, when we played together, we almost always won.

    For this to work the best, I had to make sure that in my mind, it WAS ok for him to fail and not to harshly judge him.
    Thought are things and they do influence those around you.

  • Bathroom Remodeling in Orange County

    It’s the first room that you enter when you start your day and the last room you enter before ending it.From a simple and functional bathroom to an expensive looking spa bath, We will help you create the bathroom you are looking for, so you can start and end your day with a smile on your face.

  • Movers in westchester

    Enjoy the difference with Available Movers & Storage, a reliable moving company in Bronx NYC and New Jersey area. We at Available Movers value our new clients and will always provide the most professional service to our new and returning clients. Available Movers & Storage is a Bronx NYC moving company that specializes in moving your home, business, or office to any place in the Bronx or from New York City to your desired location. Leave your worries behind and make us handle the job.

  • accounting for doctors

    Running a law practice requires enormous dedication. So as a busy lawyer or attorney, you definitely have more important things to do than manage your books. Spend more time clocking billable hours with clients and less time worrying about your numbers when you hire APAS accounting for lawyers. We provide reliable, accurate, and efficient accounting services for law firms. Thinking of outsourcing your needs to an external agency specialized in accounting for lawyers? We’ll free you from the tedious accounting and bookkeeping tasks that are straining your resources.

  • Digital_Zone

    Thank you so much for such a well-written article. It’s full of insightful information. Your point of view is the best among many without fail.For certain, It is one of the best blogs in my opinion. 바둑이게임

  • Digital_Zone

    Wow, excellent post. I’d like to draft like this too – taking time and real hard work to make a great article. This post has encouraged me to write some posts that I am going to write soon. 먹튀검증

  • Digital_Zone

    An interesting dialogue is price comment. I feel that it is best to write more on this matter, it may not be a taboo topic however usually individuals are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers. 먹튀검증

  • Digital_Zone

    Superior post, keep up with this exceptional work. It’s nice to know that this topic is being also covered on this web site so cheers for taking the time to discuss this! Thanks again and again! Escorts in Lahore

  • Digital_Zone

    Fantastic blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Many thanks! Call Girls in Lahore

  • Digital_Zone

    Yes i am totally agreed with this article and i just want say that this article is very nice and very informative article.I will make sure to be reading your blog more. You made a good point but I can’t help but wonder, what about the other side? !!!!!!Thanks Call Girls in Islamabad

  • Digital_Zone

    Hey, I am so thrilled I found your blog, I am here now and could just like to say thank for a tremendous post and all round interesting website. Please do keep up the great work. I cannot be without visiting your blog again and again. Islamabad Escorts

  • Digital_Zone

    Positive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting?I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style. Thanks a million and please keep up the effective work. Escorts in Dubai

  • merckseo

    It has completely risen to crown Singapore’s southern shores and without a doubt set her on the worldwide guide of private historic points. Regardless I scored the a bigger number of focuses than I ever have in a season for GS. I figure you would be unable to discover someone with a similar consistency I have had throughout the years so I am content with that. เว็บสล็อตแตกบ่อย

  • Digital_Zone

    It is a good site post without fail. Not too many people would actually, the way you just did. I am impressed that there is so much information about this subject that has been uncovered and you’ve defeated yourself this time, with so much quality. Good Works! 토토사이트

  • Digital_Zone

    Succeed! It could be one of the most useful blogs we have ever come across on the subject. Excellent info! I’m also an expert in this topic so I can understand your effort very well. Thanks for the huge help. 토토사이트

  • Digital_Zone

    Excellent to be visiting your blog again, it has been months for me. Rightly, this article that I’ve been served for therefore long. I want this article to finish my assignment within the faculty, and it has the same topic together with your article. Thanks for the ton of valuable help, nice share. 안전놀이터

  • Digital_Zone

    Succeed! It could be one of the most useful blogs we have ever come across on the subject. Excellent info! I’m also an expert in this topic so I can understand your effort very well. Thanks for the huge help. 안전놀이터

  • BRC/IFS

    In it’s very first years Lenger Seafoods started with fishing of anchovy and herring for the various markets. The product range was soon supplemented with cockles, which in those days were still salted in baskets and delivered to England. By continuously investing in development and quality improvement, Lenger Seafoods was always at the forefront of the European cockle market. The company experienced strong years with the mechanical cockle fishing on the Wadden Sea in the North of Holland. But times changed, mechanical cockle fishing was discontinued for sustainability reasons and the Dutch cockle industry continued the fishery based on traditional manual fishing technique with the so-called “Wonderklauw”. Contact BRC/IFS for more help.

  • Ear protection for shooting

    Built-in Power Amplifier: Gloryfire electronic hearing protection allows you to hear what’s around you except gunshot while protecting your ears. Designed for shooters, hunters, and workplace employees who need face to face communications in noisy environments up to 82dB. Automatically amplifies low sounds while compressing loud sounds.
    Contact ear protection for shooting for more information.

  • Digital_Zone

    Positive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting?I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style. Thanks a million and please keep up the effective work. 안전놀이터

  • Digital_Zone

    I am incapable of reading articles online very often, but I’m happy I did today. It is very well written, and your points are well-expressed. I request you warmly, please, don’t ever stop writing. 먹튀검증

  • maglie calcio

    Provehito nasce nel lontano 2015 dal bisogno prima personale e poi professionale, di possedere maglie calcio della propria squadra preferita senza spendere grosse cifre. Abbiamo impiegato mesi di ricerche per riuscire a trovare i fornitori giusti e mantenere sempre bassi i costi. Le nostre maglie calcio fanno si che ogni tifoso, senta i propri colori a contatto con la pelle.

    maglie calcio