California, Here I Come 19


For those of you who have been following my tennis journey over the last 16 years (yup, the first blog I wrote was in 1999 from Amsterdam, my first time on the senior Davis Cup team), you are probably expecting to read about my annual ambivalence about putting in the work again. Each January I have shared my feelings about doing what it will take to compete in the upcoming year. I set my bar high and I don’t simply show up. If I am going to compete I will be telling stories that drag me to be the best version of myself. On Sunday I will be playing my opening round of the ASICS World Tennis Classic on the hard courts in Palm Springs, California.

I have trained hard for tennis and it helped me build the strength to change my career from that of a tennis coach to a business/life coach. The training helped me through the toughest match of my life, when Carol lost her battle to cancer. It has helped me get through the next tough challenge of my life: finishing the book that I have been writing for not only the last five years, but for much of my adult life. Live the Best Story of Your Life: A World Champion’s Guide to Lasting Change will be released on May 31.

This year I have no ambivalence. I am in a different place in my life, both in my spirit and geographically. The move to Colorado has opened me up to a whole new level of shoshin. Of seeing things through child’s eyes, beginner eyes. To see things as if for the first time.

In the past I would have had some bad stories to rewrite about playing on the hard courts. After all, my entire life of competition has been almost entirely on clay courts. All of my practice, the way my game developed, my strokes, strategy and mind set has been clay court developed. Hard courts are hard on my body. I have an artificial hip. There is no sliding on the courts. My game is built on point development, not quick strike. The faster hard courts mean I have less time to defend.

That is a bad story. In my work as a coach and player I have always encouraged others and myself to write a new and better story.

This year, though, is different. The old story, the bad story is not there for me.

I have been living the new story. The better story. I have spent the last six months joyfully learning to play a new game. A game that works on the hard courts.

I have been returned to being a beginner in tennis even though I had already become an expert. I had to let go of what I knew and go into a world of newness. Child’s mind. Every day of playing has been an exciting adventure. Each day of being free of result concerns. Learning to hit more balls up the middle so as to not compromise my position on the court. Picking up the visual cues earlier so that I am not trying to catch up to the ball. Slowing the game down even though there is less time. Playing lots of young big hitters who are faster and stronger with more topspin than I am used to has forced me to be smarter, to think more tactically even though my physical used to be enough in many matches. I can’t out-physical these guys. I can outthink them. I can use my experience of letting go of results…of welcoming uncertainty and unknown.

I am so excited about the newness of playing a new game on a new surface. I am a kid again. I last played a hard court tournament in California in 2007. Returning there I now get to face players I haven’t seen for years on courts that I have not stepped on since I got a new hip. I am so pumped.

The newest and most exciting part for me is that the new view that I have been working on for the last ten years is now a part of me. No longer something that I am practicing. The practice has become who I now am. I have come to know that I play because I love to develop my craft. To be a better person. To honor my opponents. Winning is important to me, too, but it is now, truly, just one part of the experience. My biggest successes take the form of the great John Wooden’s words: “success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”

When I walk on the court I know, more than anything, that I want to just be the Bob I have become. To bring the best version of myself. I don’t need to be better than I am. Being Bob will be enough. At the end of the match the internal review will be one of asking if I was the person that I wanted to be. Nothing else is more important than that. That I have worked my craft. That I have let go of counterproductive thoughts.That I find the golden nuggets on the path. That I have given full effort. That I was fair. A good humble winner or a good no excuse congratulatory loser. To feel no regrets.

No less important is the excitement that I feel in playing doubles this year with one of my closest friends, Charlie Hoeveler. Years ago when I was a rookie on the senior tour and Charlie was the top player in our age group he practiced with me. I was in awe of his record, his accomplishments. But on that day I got a glimpse of what it is to be the kind of person that I wanted to be on the tennis court while competing. To be someone who could keep winning in perspective. We have won a couple of National titles and that is nice. But nicer is the lifelong friendship that has grown out of our time together. Playing doubles with him is a gift. Being with him raises me.

So do I have any ambivalence about lacing up my sneakers for one more year?

Nope.

California here I come. With child’s mind, I am going to Disneyland. To play. To discover. To experience newness. To renew and deepen my friendships. To feel the wow of the game that I love.


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19 thoughts on “California, Here I Come

  • michael j shapiro

    Hey Bob – Loved reading this small sample of your compelling and meaningful journey to NOW. I “get” all that you’ve expressed. And I’m so excited for you to have these renewed experiences playing…. playing in the game of life – which sometimes takes place on a court. It is, after all, all commingled, isn’t it.

    I hope the El Nino doesn’t hit you while in the desert – but wtf – that’d be interesting, too. Stay well and continue experiencing the magic!

    Lots of love…. Michael

  • Jahn

    Bob, your blogs kelp get better too. It’s exciting to see your fresh perspective and to learn about sports and life enhancement through your eyes. Keep up the good work and here’s to a happy and healthy year for you, the readers and to us all.

  • Byron Smith

    Good Luck at Mission Hills ! I’m skipping this year due injury…..You gotta love Porzingis! He should lift your World !!!!

  • Philip Goetz

    I have been following your blog for the past year and I must say this was an inspirational way to start the new year. I am encouraged to up my game in personal awareness, fitness and health. Thanks Bob!

  • Arnie Stark

    Bob, A really inspirational read (story)
    Now if I can only take some of
    these thoughts and incorporate them
    Into my game I too will reach new
    highs
    Play well. Good Luck
    Arnie

  • Herschel Weingrod

    Bob – great post, as always, my friend. Have a great tournament, let me know if you’ll be in L.A. afterwards, and I’m really looking forward to reading your book.
    Herschel

  • Lane lehrhoff

    BEST OF LUCK MY FRIEND ! YOU ARE TRUELY INSPIRATIONAL COACH, LOVE THE NEW STORY ! I WONT BE FAR BEHIND….KICK SOME ASS LL

  • Rita. Letter

    Way to go Bob! I’m so proud of you. Can’t wait to hear what happens in California.
    Happy New Year. May this be the best one ever!

    Love, Rita

  • Marilyn Weber

    Always a pleasure to read your Blob. Good luck in California. Are you able to see Amy, Cam, Madelyn and Soren all the time since you’ve moved to Colorado.

    The best,

    Marilyn – Steve’s sister

  • steve brinley

    Good luck Bob! Glad to see you are still active and winning your matches!!
    Btw, my daughter has introduced us to her very good friends Peter and Sam Schwartz! What a great family they have!
    They live close to my daughter Morgan in CT.
    Bring home the gold!

  • Stacy E. McHugh

    Bob, what an exciting time and a great adventure. Best wishes in California and look forward to the update! You really inspire, so grateful. Stacy

  • Ryan Walker

    Great read Bob. As someone else who enjoys the game, it’s cool to hear about your positive outlook on it all. Most uplifting, and applicable to all aspects of life too. Best of luck in CA!

  • Mike and Jackie Vogel

    Bob. My 2 hip replacements have not held me back from tennis …..so everyone knows the heart you have
    Can’t hold you back from being number one …..Jackie and I moved to boynton beach …..need a place
    Let us know Mv